I am an unfortunate romantic. I say this because I perpetually have romance in the mind but nothing has happened. I have started a profile on a dating website that will remain nameless because I am desperate for newness. I feel like I have exhausted my immediate options and that is all I have left. Nothing really has come out of it. Some guys say they’re interested but I’m scared to meet them. For one, it’s the internet, for two my weight. I do have a picture that shows all of me but it’s a really good picture. What if they see me in person and it’s just like EW peace out? I don’t know if I can take that kind of rejection. It’s so… severe. I have had lots and lots and LOTS of rejection. I say I’m used to it but I never will be. That’s what sucks.
another note…
I’ve recently discovered Ed Sheeran and his lyrics of love have driven me to tears on several occasions. Why are men allowed to be revered for having such intense feelings but if I wrote music like that (or really just SHOWN people what I’ve ALREADY written) people would judge me as crazy? Is a woman not allowed to have feelings? Really we’re just allowed to have them but we can’t express it because we’ll be labeled psycho. Being a woman is hard man.
Confessions Of A Certified Fat Chick
She's got a lot to gain and a lot to lose.
Confessions Of A Certified Fat Chick 
I know it seems scary, but you should definitely put yourself out there. Obviously since you’re meeting someone from the internet, make sure you meet them in a public place. But you shouldn’t let your weight hold you back. You’re an amazing person and any guy would be lucky to have you in their life. If someone is showing an interest, go for it! You’ll never know until you try.
Thanks christina. I’m definitely warming up the idea it is just so damn scary!