just a quick update killa killas

the mommadukes’ surgery went very well! She is just in super mucho tons of pain so shes on a couple of pain pills to help. Its terrible seeing your mother in that kind of pain let me tell you but at least she is now on something a bit stronger so she doesnt go through those bouts of screaming crying pain. This weekend was Brandy’s birthday so we took some vids but I don’t know how to convert the codes to work on wordpress so here are is the link http://www.twitvid.com/DBDL4 !

hope it works!
but anyways I also wanted to promote an up and coming photographer! She’s a really great friend of mine named Brandi She is amazing. Just look at the quality killas! Well I am off to get some sun now.

Always weigh what I’ve got against what I left

Look, before you watch this video… It’s not about me crying out for help. It’s not about me begging for kind words. It is not about e-mailed optimism. Even though I love kind words and optimism. It’s just… A wake up call. I am always brutally honest when it comes to myself. This is just another part that honesty. I warn you it’s seeing me at my worst and it’s not flattering. But as I say at the end of the video this is for ME. For me to have on record before I go off the deep end again how it hurts to feel this way. Why I am doing this in the first place, why I am blogging and my ultimate goal. I don’t even want to post the picture of my weight gain. It’s 2.2 pounds and I am very ashamed of myself.

I pressed stop prematurely but I really didn’t have much else left to say. I haven’t watched it yet. I am going to save it for whenever I feel like eating an extra piece of something thats out of my points range. I think alcohol attributed an ounce or two so I should definitely limit my intake on that next time. I ask you all, after watching that, to just give a little prayer for me. I am not super religious or anything like that but I do believe in kind energy. I could use quite a bit of that as I struggle with my stupid job and this job hunt not to mention my lifestyle changes. So a kind thought or two would be lovely.

dis bitch did a VLOG


So it wasn’t my strongest week but at least I lost. Don’t laugh at my HUSKY voice killas. Its deep and congested yadda yadda. I am aware. It’s cool. I appreciate ALL of your comments btw. It is soooooo up lifting and helps me get through the day the week. Don’t stop okay?
okAY dont judge my voice talents on this frivolity I was just having fun with my bro and sistershaha