Day Ocho! OH!

A song describing my mood:

I am trying to put a positive spin to EVERYthing now. I want to have more positivity in my life so I can get back on track. I did resign up for weight watchers. Buy one month get the second month free? HOLLA! So, I did that and I am restarting tomorrow. So I need to get positivity back into my life and screw the outside that is trying to ruin me. I am my own person so I need to find my strength that is with in me to get back on track and become my own success story. I really, really, want to be a success story. I don’t want to die fat. My body is deterioating at this rate. I am 22 with knee aches, sleep apnea, major winded problems, and having to buy size 24/26. YIKESABEE. It is noooooot normal to be this weight. I am all for fuller women should be on the media but I am not saying get my big ass on the cover on magazines because being this weight will kill you. You will die in like years if you were with me. So I say fuck it. Like there was this whooole big controversy about Gabourey Sibibe being on the cover of Elle and how they only showed her face when the other girls featured were thinner and were shown their whole bodies. Well, knowing me and my size I would only want my head shot. I hate my body and for good reason. It is grotesquely mishapen due to mistreatment. I should not be showcased on Elle for women and girls to see just like stick figure anoerexic girls should not be shown on the cover of elle. I think fuller figured women should, but me and Gabby? No. Not unless she explains in there that I know I am big I think I am beautiful right now but in order to be healthy I have got to lost weight. Not to be 100 pounds but at a healthy weight. I am proud that they are starting to have different sizes on television and movies but I hope Gabourey knows that being that size will kill her shortly. I think she may be about my weight so I know she has got ot have aches. But if Elle was going to have Gabourey on the cover why the hell would they do that to her hair. Eek.

but… wow I just went off on a tangent. This post is supposed to be about a song matching my mood. Okay the Jack Johnson song is absolutely fun, up beat, and something you can just sing to. I feel its like a song saying screw you. Laugh at me. Laugh with me. Whatever I still going to do me and enjoy doing it. That’s how I feel. I am on my path again. I got such a long road ahead of me but with positive affirmations and keeping my vision alive I will definitely get there. I know it. Because I have to live my dream and write a book about this and how I am and show that I can be a success story. I also want to sing on stage soon. I want to get my shit together and write some real songs and get my ass out there. Another song matching my hopeful mood? This one:

I want to do all that she sings in this song except go to Mexico. I want to go to Hawaii or Puerto Rico. But New York and all that? Hell yes! I want to go to Vegas too! Maybe I’ll reach my own level of Vegas some day. I hope so.

Faces look ugly when you’re alone

I have been a bad, bad blogger. I have been vlogging more frequently than anything. But my first love will always be blogging! I actually joined up with a friend of mine Alie. She’s fab and has her own website/blog that has to do with beauty. It has tips, photo shoots, and shows that you don’t have to be size 2 to be beautiful so I am happy to be a part of her site. This is the website: so check it out and see me on there giving my two cents every now and then too. so here are my latest two vlogs:

kinda rambly but I was just coming off of work so don’t mind me much. I want to do more singing on my you tubes as well. More original stuff mixed with my own versions, acapella, of other songs. Maybe a couple of tegan and sara jams revamped? Hmm who knows!

where does the good go?

I am going to be seeing paramore and tegan and sara august 4th and i ssosososo happy. It isn’t official until I buy the tix next week but me n the bestest are going I am soo psyched. I didn’t feel like really blogging so here is my vlog:

and if you didn’t see me sing random mess this is it:

oh yeah if you have a youtube subscribe because I won’t always be putting my vids on here. Leave some love if you feel like it. Let me know your thoughts. If you’re gonna be mean its all good I am used to assholes but remember the singing is just for fun. I love to sing, I may not be the best, but I love to do it and share it somehow so there.