Between two lungs it was released

I haven’t done a real blog in awhile because I’ve been pretty ickface lately. I was trying to go to the gym/Zumba at least 4 days a week then Friday I was hammered with the sinus infection . I was out of commission all weekend. I was also stricken with terrible abdominal pains. I really thought I had an ulcer. My dumbass was drinking orange juice because I thought that would help my cold but instead I irritated my stomach pouch. Now I’m back on prilosec to help this gastritis. I still feel icky and now I have to eat way slower than usual because my stomach is so sensitive. I haven’t had an attack of pain since Sunday night ( thank God because that was AWFUL!) . Along with that I’m on zithromycin to get rid of my sinus infection. I’m a hot mess!
But! The good news with going to the doctors is that I was weighed. I was weighed at 6 pounds lost! So to get real with you all i’m now 309. I started my journey, In March 2011, at 412. The one where I decided yeah, i’m getting the surgery. So, if i’m going by that, I have lost over 100 pounds. My doctors are going by my actual surgery weight. That weight on 8/31/2011 was 402 so as of now I have lost 93 pounds. 7 More pounds until I count that I’ve lost 100 pounds. I’m getting that tat when I lose 100! I can’t wait. I’m just trying to stay more positive and be more thankful for my lot in life. I have a second chance at it. While people around me are losing their family members i’m trying to remind myself each day that life is something to hold near and dear and to fight for it. I’m fighting like hell to make something out of myself.
After I get my finances in place and get my car I plan on looking for better career opportunities. I want to be happy where I spend 40 hours a week. I want to feel like i’m making some kind of difference. I’m thinking seriously about going to school to be an EMT through the fire department. I think once I lose more weight and get a car I’m be prepared for the course. It costs $800 so I have to squared away before I take it. Then, some days, all I want to do is something creative. Unfortunately creative does not pay the bills. I am gonna get my head together eventually.
Another thing i’m excited for is my trip to Tennessee. I finally get to meet, in person, some of my closest friends; Kelley and Leslie! I talk to those girls every day and I am finally getting my butt out there to see them. I am well overdue for a vacation and it’s really close! I leave March 13th and I come back on the 22nd. While i’m out there i’m going to see my other friends Dana and Nick. I’m excited to start looking at bridesmaids dresses. I’m their maid of honor : ). I’m stressing about the plane seat a little but i’m confident I’ll be able to fit especially if I keep losing the way i’m losing!

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There’ll be no sad tomorrow

So, after my last blog, I became REALLY sick. This insane sinus infection full of coughs, fevers, and sniffles. It sucked BALLS. I am still congested and not feeling one hundred percent but let me tell you it was an intense week. During this same week Aunt Flow came to visit as well. Can you say FFFUUUCCCKKK? I sho can. FUCK. lol. It was awful. Mixed this illness and working overnight I didn’t get much done. At all. No gym. No writing down what I ate. NOTHING. I didn’t get weighed either I slept right through it. So somethings gotta give. I HAVE to find another job. I am searching in fervor. What I NEED to do is print out a bunch of resumes and go to doctors offices and just hand out my resume. This internet ish maybe what we do in this day and age but I am tired of rejection emails. I need to do what I studied for! I wanna go back to school and become an RN and take writing classes on the side but how am I going to pay for classes when I don’t make enough right now? I already got a loan last year for 11,000 through my mom and that is being deferred because of her disability but I can’t get lucky enough to do that for Del Tech( a technical college). I digress. I am trying to be less complainy and less whinny but I had to get that out quickly. I want to enjoy my life and surround myself with positivity.

I had last night and today. I went to my bff’s apartment and stayed over. We attempted to put a puzzle together, watched How I met your Mother and 30 Rock, and just plain enjoyed each others company.

I had missed her soo much. She even bought me an awesome fleece blanket with this image:

I know Johnny Depp looks like a furreak but that’s his charm. Plus he’s my el numero celeb crush. I also love Alice in Wonderland so it’s a win win. But like I said about positivity. I am not going to run away from problems or cut out my friends if they’re having a rough day but I am going to clip the people or things that bring me down.. WAY down. Not specifics or anything I am just going to become more aware of what’s going down and do what I have to do to center myself. I want to mature and do it right. I NEED to grow up and enjoy life because who knows when its our last day on this earth? I just hope that I find love before it happens. I am not searching for anyone, hoping he’ll find me, but I am open to love. WIDE open, ha ha. I know I mention my singleness a lot but it’s one of those SOMETHING missings in my life. I hang out with Amber, my bff, at her place and she lives with her boyfriend. So I am always the third wheel. I would love to have a partner in this to bring over so it’d be like a couples date thing as well as chilling with my bff. I want a male counterpart to escape all this femminine shit. Do you know what I mean? Like even a male friend to just shoot the shit with I wouldn’t mind. Well, we all know what would happen there; we’d be friends, I’d start to like him, and he wouldn’t like me in that way which would end our friendship due to uber weirdness. Yeah, I have had it happen a few times during my younger years. I feel as though I am WAY more mature in that aspect. I think I can handle a guy just being my friend and not being any of my friend’s boyfriends. A dude who is just a pal. Maybe a drinking buddy lol. Who knows?

Let’s get off that subject though.

Next time I blog I should have a weight update. It may be another pound or two gain because of this week but I promise not to freak out. I have to not quit either. Missing weeks at weight watchers is extremely detrimental to this. I need to go every week. I also need to stop working overnight because my sleep schedule is all jacked up and I am eating at odd times and not getting excercise in. Until later ❤