“Don’t wait for anyone,” she said, “The only thing that’s guaranteed to happen is losing precious time.”
I read those above words on thought catalog today and I was just in awe of its simplicity. It is true. Why wait for ANYONE?! I am in a great place in my life where I am not waiting for anyone. I’m not waiting for anyone to make moves because I don’t care. While it is lovely to kiss and be held it isn’t top priority at this moment. Getting my bills/finances in order is. Decorating my apartment is. Maybe because of this laissez faire attitude towards dating is why I am actually going on dates? Maybe because pof.com doesn’t completely suck as everyone thinks? I don’t know. I’m not searching anyone out. The profiles out there if anyone wants to drop me a line. If they seem interesting I reply. I love meeting new people and I think, at this point in my life, that should be what it’s all about. I’m not expecting to find the love of my life. I am just out there for new experiences and new stories to tell. Sometimes I feel like my world is so small and limited because of my time. I work anywhere from 48 hours a week to 65. I work in a call center and a beauty store in the mall. How am I going to meet new people that way?
How did this post become so convuluted. I started with one measely quote and went off in some tangent. I don’t know. This week has been crazy. I moved into my own place and worked every single day except this past Sunday. I have come down with a cold and I am just tired all the time. So. Me. Focus on me. Stop waiting for people and just keep going down my own path toward enlightenment.
I’m trying to get into a routine of sorts. Trying to figure it all out without finding too much out.
Wanna hear some shit? I was assaulted and robbed in Vegas. The day before I got paid so it was the day before I actually got to do shit like go see the Grand Canyon and rock my leopard dress and go clubbing. Homeboy got shit but my camera (and awesome pictures), a cell phone with me singing all over it, and a bunch of quarters. Oh, and my debit and license. I cancelled the phone and card immediately before they used it. The cops never caught the bastards but I am trying my best to put it behind me. Just know Vegas is a shit show. It is a dangerous place for two women alone. I don’t want to go into all the details just know Vegas was not my fave vacation. I was happy that my best friend was there to share the shit show and she had my back. Her mom is pretty much the most amazing person ever and helped us out too.
The way my vacation broke down was three days in New Orleans then four in Vegas. New Orleans was amazing even though I went there and saw the Eagles lose. I love my Eagles and it was epic to be around so many fans that traveled all the way to NOLA for the game. It was fucking epic to be a part of the Green Legion. I can’t wait to do it again. Short blog. I have had other shit going on that I just don’t wish to share to the world wide web. My heads a mess but it’s getting better. Tonight I’m stressing about something that probably isn’t going to happen. So there’s that. Until later..
Okay I forgot one crucial award.
The Guy who needs his hand held the entire fucking time award
This guy. whoo. This guy. You really like him. You like him a lot. You drop NOT SUBTLE hints that you’re into him. Like so like dude. ASK ME DA FUCK OUT kinda hints. He seems super into you but after years and years of rejection you’re totally hesitant. YOU ask for his number. YOU ask to hang out. YOU YOU YOU. After said hang out there is no follow through from guy and he gets mad at YOU. Like it’s all your fault. Dude I kissed you can’t you call me after instead of getting mad at me for not calling? Jesus, what in the hell is wrong with this picture? Said guy is always older than you so you think they’ll be all mature and shit but instead they’re completely oblivious so you lose interest. Girls don’t like to baby sit their man. We don’t. We may be mothers some day. We’ll deal with kids at that appointed time.
I’m going to start awarding men I encounter with awards. The men who attempt to bed me and supposedly date me. Or the ones that just generally fuck me over.
There’s the Most Flattering Asshat award:
The one who tries to tell me how gorgeous I am and how surprising it is I’m single.
This guy… I encounter him far too often. He is just trying the have sex. 9 times out of 10. I meet. him at bars usually.
There is the Sweet Douchebag award
Similar to the most flattering asshat except he quickly turns really douchey when it is clear that no means no. No dude I will not go home with you. Thanks for the drink I didn’t ask you to buy. Get mad and tell all your friends now how the girl you thought would be an easy kill is a tease/prude/fat bitch… whatever. They say it because they’re severely butt hurt.
There is the Compulsive Liar award
Dude. Shut up. You don’t have to lie about every bit of bull shit. We aren’t dating. I liked you for five seconds and then found out you’re profoundly annoying. Stop lying and tell me you don’t like me. Make it easier for me.
The Egotistical Dangler Asshole award.
This type of guy I have encountered way too much. This one is also called as the thirsty ego stroker. He likes to give you tid bits. He likes to lead you on. He likes to keep you dangling. This dude. Oh man this guy will disappear from time to time just to text you when he’s drunk or feeling low and needs a boost. Just say a few sentences to keep you hooked so he feels good about his own pathetic ass. Eventually this guy gets a girlfriend to keep his ego stroked. Sometimes they’ll fight and there he comes out of the damn wood work after weeks of no word and you were starting the hope this asshole disappeared off the planet. This guy royally sucks. He can be a constant thorn in your damn side.
The “I’m not like that guy” guy.
The most recent offender. He is the one you really start to like. The one who doesn’t seem just about it but probably is all about it. Makes you feel special in all the right ways. Makes you think he is different and that wow maybe once in your whole life you met a genuinely sweet guy. That you’ll be able to hang out and introduce him to your friends. That’s the true test after all. If he gets along with your friends. This cherub of a fella he gets a very special award once he stops texting and making you question your stupid move. This guy makes you really wanna give up because you’ve been trying fruitlessly for years and were just starting to give up and then he gives you that glimmer of hope. That guy. This guy hurts the absolute most.
I have encountered such dude twice in life. Thanks dude.
I’m addicted to my phone. I’m addicted to stupid facebook and other stupid social networking websites. Where I tweet passive aggressive things about what I’m feeling super freaking aggressive about.
I’m regressing as an adult. I am regressing as a human being. I realize these things and still I use them. I am blogging right now and I am going to post this link on my facebook page so people can read all about how I need to get over social networking but never will. I’m addicted to that stupid little indicator blinking to tell me someone texted me. It’s annoying. I am very tempted to leave my phone at home tomorrow. God forbid, right?
I am obviously lashing out about my addiction because of underlying reasons. I just am not in the mood at this very moment. I am feeling like a damn brat. It’s allowed once in awhile. I have perspective out the ass. No joke. I get it. I am a privileged bitch.
Tonight I’m having one of those episodes where everyone is pissing me off. Every situation. Those nights where you wanna rake at something… even your own skin. These nights are the worst. These nights are the ones where you look in the mirror and wanna freaking scream your head off. Where you just feel like it’s never going to be enough for anyone. Not even yourself. I told you. The worst kind of nights. So in order to save my sanity I am popping two mid nites and hoping to wake up like the positive girl that I know I am. Writing this til they kick in. I just get so angry. So irrationally angry at some of the cards I dealt myself because I don’t know how to fucking shuffle. I can’t play the game right. It really is all a game. I usually like playing but i’m not winning tonight so I’m pouting like a toddler without her damn tiara.
I wish I knew how to do this the cool blogger way but I don’t. So this is where you can like the blog on fb. This is just where I can post updates because I don’t want ALL of my friends on facebook to read my updates. So yeah.