sleeping sickness


I can’t fall back to sleep. I had a dinner date with one of my closest friends last night. We hung out for awhile ans made it back home around 10:30. I was passed out at 11 Iwas so tired. I’ve just been so tired lately. Sunday I got home so late and woke up so early.. I think that screwed me all up.
I am such a contradiction. I am contradiction. “I lie in an early bed thinking late thoughts.” I’m about ready to start the day so I think this constitutes an early bed. Oh Fiona. I relate to you more and more as I get older.
Warning. This post may be all over the place.

I’ve lingered long enough
My thoughts are languished and my heart is tired
You’re an empty vessel in a full world
A foolish world
Were you made to tease?
Everything happens
I’ve made a mess of things
Young and dumb
Callously bruised
Undertaking this under current
I’m buzzing for days
Electrified
Tantalized
Mesmerized
I do everything in vain
Married to the vanity and the insanity
Weary of the letdown
The one that is so expected
The one that is widely accepted
Its appropriate to look at the big picture
Let’s call this all hindsight
Shouldn’t have
I shouldn’t have
Every moment becomes a story
In the back of the mind of the wanderers
Labored and loving
Loving the wrong
Hating the right
Backwards into the cumbersome realities
Odds of bending over to break
Just enough to seem like it mattered
Put your own spin on random
Until the next time. Til I am at a loss once more
Lingering. I’m lingering where I am not wanted
Not wanted by the ones you want

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