To desire. To want. It is ridiculous. I want so many things at once. I was deprived for so long I feel like I am playing catch up. I don’t want to ruin everything when I have been getting so much better. I AM so much better. I just still have a ways to go. I am impatient. I want it all now and I am going to want more tomorrow. My birthday is a month away. I feel like I am mentally at a crossroads. I have to start focusing. I sometimes feel like I have a particular type of ADD. I just can’t stabilize.