It’s not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you’ll only change it


There is nothing I hate more than someone who thinks they have me pegged. Other than, of course, real atrocities of life like child molestation and unjust murder and all that. But seriously I cannot STAND someone who thinks they know me. First off, unless you’re one of my close adversaries or have known me longer than a year or two you really DON’T know me. You can read what I choose to write on here or any other social network and Think you have me figured out but really… this is just a very small part of who I am. Sure, we all pass judgments on what we see on the internet but I am trying hard to disconnect because really judging someone based on a tweet or a post isn’t always accurate. We can be anything we want to be online. Show what we want show about our life as not to see one in a negative light. But I have never been a person to show what I want people to see. I am blatantly honest at all times. That’s why I get negative comments and people shaking their head at me. Sorry I show an imperfect woman on the internet. I am really sorry I’m not a mommy of the year blogger and that I’m just some fat chick who’s narcissistic in the journey of getting healthy since I do almost everything by myself.

Since losing over one hundred pounds I am feeling more like myself than ever before. I know what I want and I am starting to really go for it.
Sure, there are times when I get the mean reds but it passes in a few hours instead of lasting a few days. It’s fantastic. On a much MUCH happier note I am getting my patience tattoo soon. I just have to call the artist to get it set up. He is a fantastic artist in PA so I have to see when he has openings. I am excited. The pain should be a reminder that I’ve come very far and I should have patience in all the areas that is life. I need to practice patience. This post is living proof that I’m losing my patience with most people. I need to really start meditating and practicing yoga. Become one and all that. I am still cutting some people out because they are not an integral part of this journey.

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6 thoughts on “It’s not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you’ll only change it

  1. I hear ya.

    That’s one thing that bothers me is when some people think just because they read your blogs, Facebook updates, tweets, etc they know your life story.

    I never share myself 100% on my blogs. Some thoughts and life matters are better left private. And if you haven’t lived in another persons shoes, you would never know what they’ve been through.

    Congrats on the 100+lbs weight loss. ^-^
    I’ve started my WLS journey too. Still jumping through hoops with getting all the pre-op appointments & tests done.

    Anyways, ttyl and gl on any more weight you need to lose. Looking forward to seeing updated before & after pics. 🙂

    • Exactly! And blogging is such a small part of your thoughts. If I really wanted to write about EVERYTHING I think people would just be so friggin confused! Thank you so much for the congrats. You know exactly how it is. The journey is the toughest part. How long do you ahve to do your pre ops and classes for? 6 months or 3? If you have any questions ask!

      • I should be having surgery by the end of the year (YES!!) which would make it roughly 6 months, though I’ve been waiting since last year when my referral was sent in. :-/

        Got my nurse & dietitian appointment end of August. Then from there I’ll find out when I have to go for certain tests & psych appointment.

        Can’t wait!! Think I will probably end up getting the VSG like you. Don’t think I want the RNY because of the blind stomach thing where they can’t put the scope to see your stomach & the increase of ulcers. D:

        Plus, I watched a video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hk5F4mmxD2M) by Dr. Alvarez that really made me firm on my decision. Someone commented with almost identical weight & height as me, and he gave a great response.

        To quote him, “It will give you amazing quality of life without worrying about vitamin deficiencies, osteoporosis, risk of internal hernias, marginal ulcers, etc. as with the gastric bypass.”

        Yah…I think I’ll stick with the VSG & bump up my exercise. ^^

      • girl yes! It was the best decision because I have had almost no problems. The only thing I have had was gastritis. I actually had that prior to my surgery though and I didn’t know it. When they sent my stomach to the lab ( that part was removed) the doctor told me it tested positive for gastritis. I just have to take prilosec as needed. That is a great video thanks for sharing it. I wish you the best luck. Do you have to do the liquid optifast diet two weeks prior to surgery?

      • Thanks!

        And yah, will end up doing the optifast liquid diet prior to surgery to shrink the liver. Most people do it for two weeks, but I’ve read some people doing it for as much as four weeks (!!!!! crazy…).

        I’m not sure how long I’ll be doing it as I didn’t get to that stage yet but I hope to all that’s holy it’s not four weeks long lol.

      • its not so bad if you have a certain bmi (like i did) i was able to have a lean cuisine for dinner and the rest was optifast

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