Rare is such a soul that swims in ecstatic bliss


I think I have a restless soul. I mention this often how I hate to stay still. it
s hard fo rme to just sit for too long other than watching movies. I am always thinking of the next thing. The next adventure.
Right now my latest thing I want to accomplish (other than learning Spanish0 is joining a chorus. I love to sing. I love it so much that I literally feel like bursting when I don’t get a chance to sing for a few hours. At work you can only imagine how I am. I currently process claism so I am able to listen to my headphones but damned if I don’t find myself singing no maqtter what. I know I probably annoy the hell out of one cubicle mate but I HAVE to sing sometimes. I sometimes get teary eye when I hear a song because I want to sing a long. I know it is so strange but music DOES something to me. I have a lot of emotions a lot of unsatisfied feelings and the lyrics can sometimes tear me to shreds. This is part of the reason why I hate sharing my music with people. The music Ireally identify with. Every one has different tastes so when I identify to a song so irrevocably and some one starts mocking it or something I feel… really shitty.
I ahve a lot going on in this curly haired hair of mine. I am constantly at straights with my nature. What I really am. No, i’m not a were wolf. I mean who I am supposed to be. What I am meant for. While losing weight has really helped me lose a lot of my insecurities I have hung onto I am still over weight. I still have many more pounds to lose. I am dealing with my own rage that I contain. The rage that I think only Leslie is really aware of. I am sometimes truly imbalanced and I can be so mad at soemone and they may never know it because I let it fester instead of saying what’s bothering me right then and there. I’m working on being more open and honest. I am pretty honest but when it comes to shit that has been done to me or mine i don’t vocalize it properly other than voxing it to Leslie.
So here I am. Listening to music that brings tears to my eyes because I feel like I don’t really know the lyrics because all I know is frustration.
Maybe I can only identify with the emotions of frustration and rage. Unreequitted love would be my album and every one who listens to it will be the lonely souls. Maybe that’s all I’m good for.

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