Ritual union’s got me in trouble again

The night is the hardest for me sometimes. I get lost in the time… The time I have lost. The time I have wasted. I am scraping myself off of the floor and i’m trying to put myself on the canvas. I’m trying to paint myself a prettier picture of the future. I have tons to look forward too. I have the world at my finger tips but you all know what i’m missing. It isn’t fun to be the girl missing such a huge piece. A girl who NEVER had that piece. Some people forget that I have never even been in a relationship. I have never had a boyfriend. I’m clueless when it comes to relationship. No, that’s a lie. I know what NOT to do in relationships.
I am constantly concerned. I can’t pinpoint my exact worry but i’m constantly fretting. Especially when people say saying negative about what I am actually striving for.
I am just scared that I am not going to progress. I fear people think of me as a pathetic being instead of the strong woman I am aiming to be.


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