running running limbo running round it all

you know what my main problem is? I am irrevocably attracted to emotionally damaged, unavailable, unattainable men. I need to change that but I want to keep my integrity at the same time. Feel me?
Being me… is hard, romantically. If all I wanted was to smash I’d be the belle of many balls ( oh my god haha.) That isn’t what I want. I what a real friendship and relationship. I have come way too far to settle. The problem is when I DO set my sights on someone 9.5 times out of 10 they will never want to be with me. Whether it be because of my weight or other reasons. A big problem for me too is my dating pool has been picked over by the buzzards a long time ago. I don’t live in a thriving city. I live in Newark Delaware. Everyone knows everyone and everyone has fucked everyone.
I have tried a few dating sites and I hate em. I have tried some and it’s not for me. IThat’s just me. I know some success stories from people that I know but I would really like it to happen organically for me. At least once. Besides it goes by area and I am not feeling my own area. Maybe I can join Euro Singles. I literally crack myself up.
I have been seriously toying with moving to Nashville. I am very good at adapting. I think I could settle in there and hopefully meet actual men. But my toying would have to turn into planning. That involves me paying off my debts, getting a car, and saving at least 2 grand for start up on an apartment and a new life.
I am on a hunt for satisfaction. I’m on the pursuit of happiness. I’m getting ichy and I need to scratch. I hope I find what path I want soon so I can start the stepping. I hope you all understand where i’m coming from. Let me get off of here and enjoy the outside world.
“I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; I’ll Be Good”

2 thoughts on “running running limbo running round it all

  1. 1st of all – HI!! I dont think I have commented before, and I dont remember how I got here…Jenn maybe? I havent been lurking toooo long..
    Anyway…I TOTALLY understand the whole dating world sucks thing. I actually turned my whole blog content into 75% about my dating life as a BBW. Its so hard. Guys just wanna get you in bed. And I honestly think it was easier to date in HS.
    BLAH. Best of luck to ya!!

    • prob jennn lol. Dating is so hard. It’s like if a guys interested he doesn’t want his friends finding out he would date a bigger girl. Best of luck you you too

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