i’ve been found out so now i’ll never explore- see what i’ve done

Some times you just have to just mellow out to the xx. I know I have blogged about the song the island before but I just adore it. I especially love the male’s voice. I could listen to its slow easy style all day.
I have this enormous headache but i’m afraid to take medicine since I took a sudafed earlier for my congestion. I don’t want to overload my tiny stomach with all kinds of drugs all at once. I am very afraid of getting an ulcer. .I had coffee today (Again) and it was so good. I am risking it but it was a 16 oz and I only drank about 10 oz and it took me all friggin day to drink THAT. I just needed a tiny pick me up after this blah ass week. I am really trying to pay my debts (and there are a lot) so I can get a decent car in the future so I took every bit of OT I could this week.
Ah- the xx perfectly transitioned to the yeah yeah yeahs. Gotta love alphabetical order. I am just so tired. I have been staying up so late watching tv (I know, okay?!) but American Horror Story was so good last night! I never want the show to end on Wednesdays. I love good television and so far I’m liking way too many shows. I wish there was more hours in the day to indulge my television addiction. It’s not like I’m just sitting there watching it. A lot of the time I try and do the elliptical while watching. I really want to get my stomach down. I am losing a lot of weight in my chest and neck area but my tummy is taking its sweet ass time. I have been doing this thing called six inches which is raising your legs in the air using your stomach muscles essentially. I try and do 3 to 4 reps of 20 seconds. Its harder than it sounds I promise you. I want to go to Florida so bad early next year and I want to see my family looking good! I want my grandparents to see that I have gotten better. I also don’t want ANY issues flying in a plane or going to Disney. I’ve been so weird lately. I try and be social and go out. I was supposed to go to this bar crawl/loop thing last Saturday but it was sleeting and freezing and I thought no one was going to go out so I ended up going to my friend’s house for this costume party. It was fun and there was good people there but I still can’t help and feel weird. It’s not like i’m missing out on drinking, okay maybe I am, but I don’t have to drink to have a good time. I just get lost in my own mind a lot. I have definitely been more reserved these past couple of months and I hope people aren’t taking it the wrong way but I rather just go to the movies than go to the bars or clubs. Just for now. I hope to get out of this funk soon. I think I’m going to keep it REALLY low key this weekend and just go to Jenn’s daughter’s birthday party. I am also super excited to meet Amanda finally. I think thats the main thing I’ll do this weekend. That and go see the Rum Diary. I need a little Johnny Depp in my life. Plus, I love how he plays Hunter S Thompson. Super low key. I hope I get out of this funk and start wanting to party again. I need to mingle and meet new folks. Gah.


One thought on “i’ve been found out so now i’ll never explore- see what i’ve done

  1. There’s nothing wrong with mellowing out. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot lately too. Sure, it’s good to get out, but you know I’ve been a bit “eh” lately with everything going on, since I feel restricted due to having no money. I feel like I don’t deserve to go out and do anything, because I need to focus on finding a job, but at the same time, I feel that I need to get out, and something at times to keep my mind busy – whether that would be going on walks, snapping pictures, etc.

    Tell Jenn, and Amanda that I said hello. Wish I could come this weekend with you, but you know, I have no gas, etc. 😦 Always another time. x

    Love you chickie x

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