All along, not so strong without these open arms. Hold on tight


Danny gently grabbed the crystal and stepped closer to me. I gulped in a subtle fashion (I hope.) He gently moved my hair and clasped the necklace around my neck.
I looked down at the necklace and then back up to realize Danny hadn’t moved.
“What are you doing?” I whispered. The mistake was parting my lips in, what I guessed, was an inviting way because he kissed me. He kissed me like he was starving for me. Since I actually WAS starving for him I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

HAHA I am quoting myself. I am all over the place with this novel. I am writing it a bit out of order because I am working on filling in the gaps. I had an author read my work and she gave me a tip: “Write like scenes in a movie.” I think I am taking this a little too literally. Now that I have a month off I hope to put more into this book and hopefully finish it. I wanna be a published author before thirty 🙂
Off to a recount of my day.
Nothing happened. I had a bit of water and did a little walk up and down my street. I woke up feeling really good so I wanted to try protein. I tried the cafe latte one Jenn bought me and it is pretty tasty. I couldn’t finish it though. I think it was about 12 oz and I drank about 4 oz very slowly. Its really sweet and after just drinking water and soup broth the past couple of days it was difficult. Today I added a half a scoop of unflavored protein to my soup broth. It made the consistency gritty and I just don’t like it. I drank about half of it though and I am still working on it because I haven’t fit in my required 48 oz of liquid. I started taking my full army of vitamins today which cost like a million dollars. Just kidding. I gave my siblings my debit card and said “buy me shit” and they did just that. 🙂 They bought me unflavored whey protein which was about 37 bucks. Its a big 2 pounds container so I hope it lasts me a long time. They bought me the sub lingual b 12 and my flinstones vitamins. All together it was about 70 bucks. I had already had the chew able calcium with vitamin d. It wasn’t difficult to do. I made sure I had some kind of liquid in me before taking and I made sure to separate my multi vitamins and my calcium because my binder told me so. It’s been a boring day. The past couple of days I have been a bit of an hormonal mess. I sobbed watching “Just Wright.” I was like ” I’m Queen Latifah!” if you watched the movie you’d understand. Its really cute. I liked it a lot. Today I haven’t cried but I have had weird thoughts which I wish not to share on this blog today. It’s just a lot. Many people have told me that this surgery will make you this way. Well, that’s all peachy because I always considered myself a Mary Anne from the Baby-sistters Club. AKA UBER SENSITIVE so this may be odd. Well, I’m going to get on hbo go and watch the latest true blood. I just felt like writing. I need to start a domain or something. I wanna start having little advertisements on the side so I can make money doing what I love.

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4 thoughts on “All along, not so strong without these open arms. Hold on tight

  1. Oh yeah, the vitamins and protein run me like two hundred bucks per month, but when you think of how much food you’re NOT eating and thus how much you’re saving, you really do break even. 🙂

    For the calcium, how much are you taking per day? I’m not sure if you have to do this since you have the sleeve and thus no malabsorption issues, but I can’t take more than 500mg of calcium at a time – my body can’t absorb any more than that. So I split up my calcium in three doses per day. I also take vitamin D with calcium, to help with absorption. And lastly, I take my iron at night, by itself, since it inhibits calcium absorption.

    You’re going to deal with a lot of different emotions and thoughts. The surgery and the weight loss has been such an eye-opener for me. Emotions have run from anxiety and nervousness to regret, remorse, guilt for making such a mess of my body and then having to go to such extremes to fix it, etc. The hormonal issues you’ll deal with as a result of the weight loss and just being female won’t help!

    If you ever want to talk, even if it seems embarrassing or weird, don’t hesitate to call/email/text. *hugs* Love you! Take care!

    • You know I won’t hesitate! I have to take 1500 mgs . 3 500 mg tabs. They’re nasty as all hell. I will definitely either save or break even that’s for sure. I love you too hope to see you soon i’m going a little cuckoo i nmy house haha

  2. Congrats on getting the sleeve! Just a few weeks ago I started researching about getting a VSG when I happened to come across this procedure on a weight loss forum.

    My BMI is currently 56.7 which puts me in the morbidly obese part of the scale. -_-”
    and no matter how much I try to lose weight or change my lifestyle, the pounds don’t come off. That’s why I’ve been looking into some sort of surgery to help out.

    I just need to get out and make an appointment to talk to my family doctor and see if he can give me a referral because the hospital in my city that does these procedures, won’t take patients without a physicians referral.

    The problem with that is, I don’t like my doctor. LOL. We never see eye to eye on a lot of things as I was growing up. So I don’t know how I’m going to convince him to be my referral. But, I’m going to have to as I really need to get these pounds off for good – no matter how strict my diet will be afterwards.

    Congrats again! I’m looking forward to reading more updates on your progress! 🙂

    • Thank you Tina! My bmi was in the same range so I totally understand what you’re getting out. I am 6 days post op doing really well. The hard part is the first two days after surgery. Another hard part is actually eating. I am not hungry at all and learning out how to eat again while not getting sick is difficult but it is an exciting process! I couldn’t lose weight the”normal” way myself. The surgery is just a tool though not a magic fix and mad people I know think I’m going to just lose 100 pounds in like two months and be golden but it sure as hell isn’t that way lol. I think you should try finding a new doctor. It is so important to like and trust your doctor because if you don’t you are gonna hold back on the important stuff. Good luck with everything and keep me posted. Any questions email me or something.

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