give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction

I have made it to the one week before surgery mark. I have been pouring over message boards and blogs about the surgery just so I can get a general idea of how its going to be and more. And it seems like everyone is unanimous that that the gas pains suck. The gas pains come from when they fill your abdomen with air to- what I assume is- to see better as they slice and dice you. I am not looking forward to that heart attack feeling. I promise to make myself walk a lot to help with that feeling. I don’t want to be super panicky. I became teary this morning reading Jenn’s account OF THE DAY OF AND THE DAY AFTER SURGERY. that’s GOING TO BE ME!. I just know this is what I want to do. I have tried and failed miserably at every diet known to man. I had an anonymous poster call me a whiny fat person who is taking the easy way out to get surgery. That’s pretty hilarious to me since getting 85% of my stomach out is super easy. Since the possibility of dying from blood clot is really just so friggin’ safe and easy. Please. I, for the rest of my life, have to drink protein shakes, eat less than palm sized portions, take oodles of vitamins and soda and skimp on alcohol for the rest of my life. I have to watch everything I eat for the REST OF MY LIFE. That’s really the easy way out. This weight is not going to simply FALL off. Its not. I have to worry about losing my hair and having bone loss and everything. Thanks dude for doing your research. I think the easy way out is not doing anything. I think the easy way out is giving up after I have miserably failed at all diet and gaining the weight until I die of a heart attack. I was already diagnosed to mild diabetes A WEEK BEFORE SURGERY. Seriously? Fuck yourself dude. I know I shouldn’t get hot over an anonymous poster, but that poster represents a group of people who actually believe that getting serious bariatric surgery is the easy way out. I hardly believe that a procedure, that means I have to wear a medical id bracelet for the rest of my life, is going to be the “easy way out.” (Yes, I know that sentence was not grammatically correct. I never went to real college. Sue me. ) I will close this post by saying thanks for my supporters. You mean the world to me.


2 thoughts on “give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction

  1. I’m completely stoked for you!!!! ❤ Just promise me that you'll stick to it, because I want you to be happy, since you deserve it. You know I'll always love, and support you along the way. x

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