it’s all about the here and now so lets get what we can

I am scared. It is normal right? As I approach the surgery I keep having butterflies randomly flutter in my stomach. I know this is what I need to get healthy. I know I want this so bad. I want to have this amazing life I deserve to have. I am so over wearing ugly shoes. I am so done getting winded after going up stairs.
So done.I am just afraid. I really just don’t want to go through all this and die on the table. Or worse; become a vegetable. Its normal to have these fears before surgery right?
I am just spent from my weekend in NYC. Oh, how I love that city. I went to the Empire State Building at night time and walked up six flights of stairs. Yeah, about died.
Well, I just wanted to quickly post how i am feeling very anxious and scared and nervous. I don’t want to miss out on love. I think dying without ever being in love and loved back is the scariest part.


11 thoughts on “it’s all about the here and now so lets get what we can

  1. I was scared to death, especially the morning of my surgery. But I was excited, too, because I knew how much I had ahead of me, that me bettering myself not only made my life better but made others’ lives (my husband, my childrens’) better too.

    You definitely want to experience love. Most definitely.

  2. Wow. Shut the fuck up. You’re having the fucking surgery. You’re too fat to do it yourself. Stop fucking bitching and moaning. Oh poor fat you.

  3. Some people are so miserable with their lives they have to hate on those that are making positive things happen to better themselves.

    Being scared before this procedure or any other surgery is normal because the risks the doctors discuss with you are very scary. But, if you focus on the success stories such as Jenn’s that can make you feel a little better about the whole thing I think.

    I wish you the best of luck and I can’t wait to check back to see how you are doing!

    • Jenn is definitely an inspiration. You should have seen me when we first met face to face. I wa slike so you can’t eat this or that and is it painful. Blah blah blah lol But thanks for the kind words!

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