the take over, the breaks over


I literally have two weeks left. Not next Wednesday but the Wednesday after. I am so excited. My anxiety about it has gone down a bit since I passed my medical clearance today. It was a nerve racking appointment but what was encouraging was how the MA was like I cannot wait to see you after surgery. She was so sweet and I had only met her once!
I had lost ten pounds in the last two weeks which is good. Nothing spectacular since my weight is crazy and unbalanced. I have been moving more. I have upped my water intake dramatically. I am trying to squeeze in 64 oz a day which is not exactly easy but Crystal Light helps.
I am just on a different level anymore. I keep thinking in the terms of before and after. I have a long road ahead of me making sure my ass is ON with my protein (90GS A DAY!) post op. I know I am not going to drop 200 pounds like *snaps* that. I know that. But at least I have a great tool in my box to help me. Just one more appointment to go. Pre op. I not feeling morbid today. Just hopeful. I just want to be able to up my confidence. I am not a girl who hides in the corner but I want to be back to the girl that loves to steal the lime light and take the stage. My light was dimmed and it’s time to change that damn bulb.
I started Optifast (take 2) today. I will say that the chocolate shake is better than the strawberry and the tomato soup is SOO much better than the chicken. There are recipes on the optifast website that I can try but I am afraid to try it with out consulting with the doctor. I assume not since the point is mostly liquids and one lean cuisine of the under 400 calories/14g of protein variety a day. It’s now 7 pm and I am holding up well. I did sneak in 5 cheez its and put them in my tomato soup. Shame I know :(. I have consumed two shakes, a optifast bar, and one soup. I am allowed a lean cuisine and another soup for the rest of the day. I can have sugar-free jello (ew) and sugar-free Popsicles so I will enjoy the Popsicles for desert. I am holding up well. Just 14 days now. JUST 14! You guys are going to get so sick of me…
s bad of me but I wanted something solid! I wish I could have salad. I would kill for a salad right now. Does that make sense?

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