beating hearts babyyyy



I love this song. I think I have posted it before but I am sooo feeling nostalgic for head automatica. So my senior year of high school
I had my second test done for my cardio clearance today. It was an ultrasound of the heart. I thought it would be super awful but it wasn’t except for the whole topless part. It was seriously just like if you were pregnant and they did an ultrasound. They went from my heart, to my navel, and to my throat to look at all of the blood flow for my aorta and superior vena cava. It honestly made me wonder if being an ultrasound tech would be a lucrative career. It was very interesting to see my heart on screen like that pumping away. I just hope everything comes back okay. I hope the walls of my heart are good. I figured if there was something terrible they would have gotten the doctor right away but I don’t have my follow up until July 29th so please cross your fingers i’ll be ok. I have my stress test on Friday and then I stll have to schedule the x-ray of my lungs and the other test for my lungs. So much to do! Then I have my second life skills class tonight and the third and final class next week. Next week is also when I have my last nutrition class. I am almost done! Time is flying by. I gave up alcohol early too because you have to stop exactly a month before surgery but I saw the bloating/edema in my ankles and the weight gain from it I was like oh no! I can’t gain otherwise I’d have to start all over! So no more alchy for me! I’ll be okay. IT’s a depressant and I don’t need anymore of that. Especially after Saturday’s mess of pure anguish and tears. It was bad. I had a minor anxiety attack. Couldn’t breathe and cried uncontrollably like I was dying. It was all because I couldn’t find my shoe to go to the club. MY FLIP FLOP. I was all i can never wear cute clothes, i’m going to look terrible, my hairs awful, I hate being fat. The works. I just can’t wait to get my hormones in check. So everyone please keep your fingers crossed that my tests come out fine and I keep my weight under. I literally am counting on this surgery. It will save my life. I can’t wait to start fresh!

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