last week i had the strangest dream where everything was exactly how it seemed

I bitch a lot on here. I cry a lot on here. My tears are on public display any given day on this blog. I may seem like the most depressing broad out there.
This is simply not true.
Let me rectify with this post:
While I do have some shiteous moments that spark so fabulous blog posts about how I cannot wait to be a healthier weight I DO live pretty awesomely even fat.
I have fantastic friends. I have this net of friends that are so supportive even if they’re all the way in Tennessee and Georgia. Hell, I even have Violet in Cali. Shes a new friend (ps les and vi I swear I am gonna get to that damn post office. I know its been forever its just so damn inconvenient to get to the post office. Whats ironic is my dad’s a mail man). I am taking steps to be more positive because I now have my surgery date! August 31st! It’s like… crazy soon. I have never ever had major surgery like this before and I know this is supposed to be nothing compared to brain surgery but this will be major for me. I keep feeling like they’re going to find stomach cancer or something once they open me up. I read about that somewhere. I woman was so heavy in the abdomen (like me) and once they went in to do the surgery they found a tumor. They removed it and she lived but still. It freaks me out. SO while i’m 99% sure i’m going to live the surgery I am still concerned I will die so I want to live these next two months kinda like they were my last by enjoying myself and the life I have. There’s no use being upset all the time especially when the light at the end of the tunnel is near.


2 thoughts on “last week i had the strangest dream where everything was exactly how it seemed

  1. Ahh! A surgery date! Congrats! Wow, I can’t believe you know what it is so far in advance. I got my surgery date just 20 days beforehand, and I swear it was the longest 20 day wait ever, haha. You’ll be fine, I promise. 🙂

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