if you could only see the beast you made of me

These past three weeks have been sicktastic. Really shiteous. I am tired of being sick and not being able to hear. I went to the doctors so I could get something done. It was my second PCP visit in the past three weeks. She looked in my ears and said “wow! they’re blood red.” I was like; “Is that good?” I figured my insides are blood red, ya know? She said “NO! That’s really bad. No wonder you can’t hear.” Ah, sweet validation. I have been “huhing?” and “I’m sorry, what did you say?” for the past 15 days and it has been so annoying. My job is working customer service through the phones. You can imagine how that’s been.
Work was pretty understanding about my illness and how I needed to go to the doctors. It really couldn’t wait. I have been calling the medical assistant at my doctor’s office trying to see if there is anything they could do. The zithromax didn’t do anything, the upper respiratory syrup did nothing, and the prednisone provided no relief. So they said you gotta come in for the doctor to see you. I left work at 12:45 for my 1:30 appointment. My doctor’s office is in Hockession so it’s a little bit out of the way for me but my doctor is pretty awesome. The shitty thing about being sick was the work I had missed. I missed two whole days in May and then a half day today. This time plus the time i’m missing for my tests and things to get cleared for surgery has been such a pain to make up. I am worried my job’s going to get mad at me. Legally, they can’t do anything since the time I am missing for my surgery stuff was preapproved with the supervisor but I hate missing time. I hate for them to think less of me. I am trying to do everything quickly because I want the surgery before my birthday in October. I want to be able to have “eating” down by then and I want this summer to be my last morbidly obese summer. I want to be way healthier next year. I have vacations and weekend getaways in mind. I want to be a better me by being happier with how I feel physically.
On another note I have been really working on my novel. I have been trying to write a little each day. I’m at the part where its hard for me to continue because I am, essentially, Delia so I am trying to think as me in the situations I am putting Delia in and it’s just not clicking together. I want to finish it though. I actually already have 10 pages of the second book the series started it’s just ending this one I am having trouble with. I want to be the next Jennifer Weiner or Sophie Kinsella with chick lit series.I really think it’s possible. The first book will be called What’s the Deal and the second Deal with it. Get it? I want to see my name on the cover of a book on a self at Border’s soooooo bad.


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