I have noticed that my mind is always in chaos. Literally thinking of a thousand things a minute. I am always over analyzing. I am always cringing when replaying things in my head. I thought once you weren’t a teenager crazy insecurities would be easier to deal with. But here I am at 23 still dealing with it. I don’t necessarily have it as bad as I did in high school but I still feel those little tweaks once in awhile. Especially when hanging around a guy I’m interested in. I don’t know why I am so foolish and immature in that sense. I keep replaying moments in that obsessive way like I can somehow turn back the clock. But as I sit and write this and JAM to the latest Foo Fighters album (even though the title of the post is a lyric by Brett Dennen) I feel the need to clarify. I am not this recluse by any means and shy away from my size. I love to go out but I just over analyze my situation around me. It’s not like I have this terrible experiences all the time or anything like that. Yes I have been mooed at by college kids but that is a rare occurrence but they haunt me. I hate that I have to worry about shit like that. Those kind of experiences can diminish a girls spirit. Thank you to all of your comments yesterday by the way guys. I still can’t believe Ruby contacted me and shared my blog with her fans! Such lovely comments and support. I appreciate it so much. Every ounce of support I can get is soo awesome. I think this most doesn’t have much rhyme or reason. It’s just me talking out what’s in my head today. I am feeling really blah because of the weather it’s pouring here and thundering and lightening. So I leave you with this fab lyric from the Foo Fighters and the song itself.
Life imitated, it’s only faded.
Tired of waiting on you.