we all have someone that digs at us at least we dig each other

I know I kinda fail at posting anymore. It’s not because I haven’t felt like blogging its just I have had these things to say but to write them down… It just didn’t fall into place.
I have been working full time and I just get home and I’m like thinking a mile a minute and I’m just ARGH.
I have been out of my mind too with frustration. This blog was made to remind myself of what I need to do. What I need to do is lose some serious weight. 100+ pounds serious. My readers/friends know that. I had started this blog last January with every intent of making it to next year 100 pounds lighter. I’m right back where I started from and I have accomplished nothing. With that? I am frustrated.
I look back at this year and I want to kick my own ass so hard. So that is what I am doing. Kicking my own ass.
I shelled out some big bucks for personal training once a week at the gym. Don’t scoff at once at week. Its truly a lot of money. I have to start small and once a week + going to the gym on my own three other days a week. Do able. Tonight was my first session and I really feel so weak. I was no where near pushed as hard as people on biggest loser but I feel like I accomplished a lot. I did squats, push ups, curls, stepping (which is sooo so so hard gah) and this heavy ball thing. I was pushed and kept positivity in my heart. Even though towards the end I just started to cry… I couldn’t explain it maybe the adrenaline or the frustration of being so large that this was so hard for me. But I gotta keep in mind that I am helping myself. I am helping myself by doing this. SIGH. Now that I’m starting my exercise I need to start eating correctly again. Thats really hard for me because I’m a food addict to the fullest. I just want to be happy. Being happy and healthy go hand and hand with me. I don’t want to be a stick I just want to be at a healthier weight. I just want to thank my trainer so much (she knows who she is ) for keeping positivity in my heart. This year I am doing this. I am going to Florida in July and Memorial day weekend I’m trying my damnedest to visit Leslie in Tennessee and I refuse to buy an extra ticket for my plump butt right now. Thanks for the support and love guys.


4 thoughts on “we all have someone that digs at us at least we dig each other

  1. Aw, don’t be too hard on yourself. Getting a personal trainer is a HUGE step in the right direction to getting healthy! It may be hard at times, but I know you can push through and accomplish your goals. Good luck! ❤

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