turn off the lights and turn off the shyness…

So it is so true.. I have a serious confidence problem. It’s not a secret and it sucks balls it’s me pretty much. I hate being overly sensitive too. Like little things embarass me immensely and I don’t know if people even realize how much hurt I feel when they do these little things. Like make fun of how I fidget in front of EVERYONE makes me feel like I am a handicapped person. I despise being put on the spot negatively. It makes me feel physically ill and I shut down. BLANK. I become my 17 year old depressed self. Rockford bound feeling. Its no bueno. I need to stop bringing that melodrama to work. I try not to be that way but its hard when i think everyone around me doesnt take me seriously as an adult. Sure, I am quirky in certain senses but I am not harming any one. Why make me look like a fool? Any tips to make my shell a little harder so I don’t shut down completely? I need to become braver and be less sensitive. I almost cried at work today for gods sakes over this dumb crap and I would’ve looked so silly. It’s my new job! I need to pull it together.

But any who I am having a girls night with my homies Brandi, Britney, and Brandy. Together we make B3K so it’s gonna be radder than rad. plus peep this:

that is my ticket to see paramore and tegan and sara. Can you say amazeballs because I totally can! So july kicks ass and I just need to control my inner demons. Tips would be helpful. Telling me to suck it up you whinny bitch is NOT helpful. JUST a fyi.


2 thoughts on “turn off the lights and turn off the shyness…

  1. Well I’ve had a big issue with worrying if ppl are mad at me. But I’ve learned standing up for myself is more important. Some people may be mad but they’ll get over it.

    It’s not something that’ll come in a day. You gotta have a screw them attitude but also keep the compassion. Count blessings and seek places and people that make you feel good about yourself.

  2. I think I have confidence problems, too. … ever since I went to this music festival where everyone is older than me and are so much better than me and well, I keep worrying that they won’t accept me and think that I’m so far behind in piano because I’m a slacker and I don’t know how to work hard and don’t want to work hard… so yeah. That definitely does a number for my confidence.

    So I think I know how you feel. I think Brad is right.

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