All around me new love and it makes me sad./If I imagine you, body next to another

I am just seriously enjoying some life man! I have had a rad summer so far full of friends, swimming, trips, and memories. Soon it’ll be filled with meeting friends for the first time, going to an epic concert, and EVEN more memories to last a life time. I even have a new job!I am not trying to brag by any means but I do my fair share of bitching in this blog and its nice to have some AWESOME things to talk about. I am still down about my friend’s mother that passed away. It’s affected me profoundly. Even though she wasn’t my age but she was young as hell. Way too young to go. This has taught me to live life to the fullest and just enjoy what is coming by. I have been doing my fair share of smiling lately and hoping hard core for the future.

Sure, I have been screwed over this summer. But I have been screwed over a million times before. That’s sucky to say how much I don’t trust men anymore but I don’t. I know first hand that most guys will cheat or lie and most girls just get on my nerves so I am so screwed if I ever want some romance in my life. I wonder if I am just waiting for some big gesture from some man. Fufill that movie fantasy. I know I speak of my lack of romance a lot and I apologize but it is a big part of who I am. Kinda like when people are in a relationship their significant other is their whole world. I just have me and no prospects in the future. I try not to get down about it. Keeping myself drama free. I have been saying my peace too. Making slight confrontations and that isn’t me. I am hardly a fighter but I will do what I have to. I..E. the many dramas at wawa. But I digress. I just want to be able to hold my head high as a woman and I still have my honor and all that mess. At least no one can label me a slut or anything crazy like that. Sounds lame that I cling to that status with my bare teeth but it makes me feel better to know that I have not lost my heart totally completely and fleetingly to some random ass dude thats just gonna end up breaking my heart any how. I think I really need a nice guy that likes me for how I look RIGHT now and then when I lose the weight loves me even more because I am healthy. But it’s gonna be forever and a day until that happens. I am sick of being single forrealsies. I don’t like being solo. I am ready for love and I am gonna be so good at it : ).

I am starting to love myself more too. Like, not to be all egotistical by any means, but taking more time to put some make up on in the morning regardless of who I think will see me. I like to enhance my *cough* kinda light brown eyes with a light swipe of eye shadow and water proof mascara. Nothing to dramatic at all just subtle prettiness. I think dressing up for work a bit helps. Feeling like you look nice helps the insides quite a bit! My co workers are all so lovely. I hope after training everything stays as awesome as it is right now. I hope I feel this happy there for a long time. I hope the rest of life catches up to me.

So this post is a medly of a mess. Bittersweet I guess. Just stuff that’s on my mind and whatever. Thanks for reading lovebugz.

1 thought on “All around me new love and it makes me sad./If I imagine you, body next to another

  1. I’m glad your job situation is soo much better!! I’m very proud of you.

    Everything sounds good about loving yourself more. It’s a good idea to dress nicely… Not just for others, but for yourself. You’re beautiful in your own way so it’s good to let that out.

    Be patient when it comes to men and look in the right places. All men don’t cheat and lie. Only when you look in the wrong places and settle.

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