would u still love me tomorrow?

What is more disgusting is people who have no empathy at all for others, and others situations. People who judge others based on appearance…that is disgusting.

Regardless of whether you weigh 832lbs, or 32. You are a human being. Obese people, thin people, mildly overweight people…are PEOPLE..human beings, so yes, we all deserve to be treated as such. We all deserve to be treated EQUALLY..regardless of weight.

You know what? I am a Heroin addict. I got myself in that situation, but youre damn fucking right I believe I should be treated equal and should not be looked down on for getting myself into a fucked up situation. Why? Because we are all human beings, imperfect human beings. We are all living under the same sky..just trying to fucking make it…

I hate that some people are too stupid to see that.

I just really wanted people to read that. Leslie is so right. Fat people aren’t fat because we’re greedy at least not all of them. I am not a greedy person I am a very giving person. I care so much sometimes I break down because of all the wrong in the world I can’t fix. I try my best here and there to do what I can. My indulgence since I was a child was food. I am addicted to the happiness food gives me. Just like people are addicted to other things such as drug,sex, or money. Today some other debate went down that doesn’t have anything to do with weight but it brought me back to this. That and certain memories that have been haunting me lately. All involving people calling me a fat bitch. I am fat and I can be a bitch but do not use those words together to try and bring me down. That insult is not yours. It is MINE. I wish people could have more empathy for a girl that has been dealing with underlying problems with the comforts of food. Everyone likes food and some people have a slower metabolism as others. If I ate fast food every other day I would be 500 pounds instead of the 362 I am right now. Some of my friends who are 100 pounds eat fast food twice a day every day. Everyone’s different. Behind every fat person is some other reason that got them to that point. I am at my breaking point. I am DONE gaining.
I just wish people wouldn’t judge me right now as I’m losing. Like no one wanted to sit next to me on the bus because of my weight. I don’t smell and my belly fat won’t touch you I swear. I want to be treated equal. I want to be treated as a person not a blob. I know what I am and the scornful looks are not helpful. They do not fuel me to go to the gym. I am doing this for ME. I am doing this because I WANT to live older than 40. I don’t want to develop diabetes. I want to get rid of my sleep apnea. I want to be able to pay less than 50 bucks for a regular pair of jeans. I want to be able to find knee high boots in a store not at a widecalve.com website.
Like leslie said, we’re just human beings trying to make it. Do not scorn me because I am not your size. I’m hoping I amount to more than just this fucking blog, ya know? I hope to do so many things. Ride on airplane with out getting the extending belt. This I posted on my status on fb:

I really hope everyone is starting to better themselves in 2010. Whether it be your health or your mindset. Look at haiti we’re only on this earth for so long and we should do our best to spread love and not hate, prejudice, or ignorance. We should be open, honest, and unafraid, but also respectful and mindful of others

Be kinder to the larger set. The “big bertha” sitting alone on the bus, at the restaurant or working at the uscans at a supermarket. Oh yes. I’ve been called big bertha. I just wanna be less angry. I am always wishing death upon these people and that just makes for bad juju for me. I believe in karma and I should let that be the one to get these awful, mean spirited, and selfish people. Maybe it’s just in Delaware. Maybe I really do need to leave this state.


4 thoughts on “would u still love me tomorrow?

  1. I am addicted to food as well. Apparently, my doctor has diagnosed me as a food addict and when I went for treatment, they taught you why you need food, but why you shouldn’t eat it all the time. Nevertheless, I stopped eating and started being a bulimic because whenever someone shoved food down my throat, I would go puke it out. Either way, whoever a person is, whether they do something morally wrong in someone else’s eyes, or just doesn’t look good enough for society standards, doesn’t give anyone the right to judge. If they can’t help but judge, they should keep their comments to themselves.

    • exactly right its just not cool to objectify a person or put a person in a category is such a way.. its terrible. See you are the opposite i’m the food addict that eats and eats and eats and lets it sit there. Are you still bulimic?

  2. Hey Krystal I just wanted to let u know that I saw your blog on fb and I think its good u have a positive way of getting your point across and making ppl understand that evertbody has feelings whether they be fat or thin

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