I love Tegan and Sara. I love the new Sainthood cd. I love that each song is totally different from the next. they’re playing at the tower theatre in pa but i don’t have a car yet and i won’t be able to get there. God, it’d be so magical to see them play live! I’m feeling a little weird/down right now. I’m not sure how I should take what I’m feeling. I just read my friend Brandi’s post on her blog and it mentioned obese people.
Obese People Crying For Equality – You got yourself that way and I am disgusted that we should “fix” things around your lifestyle. I actually heard a woman in Victoria’s Secret complain that they are a terrible company for not having a XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL size available for her. You want a medal for being that large? Then go to Wal-Mart, home of the fatties.
I am not crying for equality believe me when I get smaller it will be a nice prize to be able to shop at regular stores like vicky secrets to get me an extra pushed up bra. But guys… I am 367 pounds. I am a big bitch. i am a thats a XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL that is me right now. I am going to weight watchers, sure, but right now and for prob a year, i’m going to be a big ass bitch. A fattie. *certified fat chick*. I just don’t want to be judged as disgusting and gross in public. I don’t want my friends to think of me as this horrendous blimp on their “atmospheric radar”. Sure, I am disgusted all on my own with my appearance. I do not need this added grief that on a day I actually think I look half decent in my 4x wal-mart shirt and size 26/28 jeans from fashion bug that I look halfway fucking decent that everyone is looking at my shaking there head thinking that shouldn’t be allowed. I shop at wal-mart home of the fatties. It’s cheap and does go up to my size which is nice because lord knows i don’t wanna walk around naked. I’m just kinda really horrified right now. I don’t want to be who I am right now and its going to take a really really really long time to lose the 200 pounds i need to be normal. I’m aware and i’m doing what I can. I live a life skinny people don’t understand. Arm rests and booths are unsittable for me. So I don’t want to be this fattie, XXXTHATSAHUGEBITCHXXL whatever anymore. But please, while I’m making this transition, don’t fucking disrespect me or what I look like. There’s all kindsa reasons I have gotten this far this way. It all has to do with me.