&& the same song plays over in her head


I am also tired of being fat. I am tired of people looking at me and seeing a fat woman, and not a loving, beautiful, intelligent individual. I am tired of hating myself, being self-conscious, unhappy, and loathing my reflection in the mirror. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to love myself.

This is a quote from a lovely, lovely, lovely, blog I came across. Her name is Jenn. I mean thats what I want to accomplish. I want to be happy. I know all this. I KNOW this. WTF can’t i put the food down? Why can’t I saw nah-uh girlllll you know that shit is BAD for you! I wonder if it really is just this psychological pull I have towards it. The fact I am alone a lot of the time doesn’t help me much. Like I work at a supermarket over night for fucks sake. I buy shitty food as i’m working and I eat it. I eat it

    hard

I just want to be a desireable person. Like when I’m with my friends and a guy approaches I don’t want their eyes to skip over me. I want them to linger and show effing interest! It’s hard enought to meet a guy nowadays let alone my size, working overnight,lack of guy friends, and never going the hell out! Now i’m being bitchy and ranty and not proactive. oooo maybe I’ll go to the gym. I have a membership at planet fitness and I pay that shit every month and never go. Fix this yes! huzzah!! Lol see I’m leaving on a happy note. Besos

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4 thoughts on “&& the same song plays over in her head

  1. I know exactly what you mean hun, I hate being fat too, but sometimes I think to myself I have to just deal with it and this is how I was born type of thing, but it you really want to lose weight go for it, if that will make you feel better in the long run!

    Good luck babe and all the best! I need to start doing something about my weight also! xx

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